My Cross Dressing Story
My name is Paula and I’d like to tell you my cross dressing story.
I spent most of my childhood feeling different to my male friends. I loved playing ball games like most boys do, but also had an eye for all things ‘pretty’. I would sit up and take notice when my mum bought a new outfit and loved to watch how she applied her makeup. If ever I was left alone in the house, I would borrow some of her clothes and admire the way I looked in them in front of her full-length mirror. I knew others wouldn’t approve of it, but it gave me a certain sense of comfort.
As I continued into my teens, these feelings continued but I began to question why I felt like this. None of my friends appeared to have such feelings and I became very confused. That was a difficult time. In those days, the internet was unheard of and information was very difficult to come by. I remember looking for books in the local library in the hope that I’d find some answers to my questions. I never did.
I went on to study at college and then university. That’s where I met the girl of my dreams. We married a few years later and I fathered two beautiful children. During this time, those feelings never went away. I always thought that a long-term relationship and family life would ‘cure’ me of the desires to dress up as a woman, but it didn’t. I hid my secret from my wife and cross dressed whenever I was alone, but this was hard work. I often had to make up stories to make sure I didn’t get found out. Small lies led to bigger lies. I felt guilty for betraying her and wanted to tell her the truth, but always feared the effect it would have on our relationship and the children. I bottled this fear up inside until one day I realised that I just couldn’t do it any more. That’s when I decided to come clean.
Her reaction was much as I had expected, but thankfully she didn’t leave me. It took her a while to come to terms with things, but I gave her the space she needed and didn’t push it. It wasn’t until several months later that she was ready to see me en-femme.
Several years on, my wife is my best friend. She is incredibly supportive and has taught me to accept myself for who I really am. I’m still a husband and father, but sometimes make an appearance as Paula.
Life certainly hasn’t been easy for me and I still face challenges in my day-to-day life, but now that I’ve accepted who I really am, everything seems so much better.
Looking back, the saddest thing about it has been the sense of loneliness I always felt. Battling with the feelings of confusion, guilt, shame and denial was difficult enough, but having no-one to talk to made it so much worse.
By means of this site, I’d like to offer a little guidance based on what I’ve learnt over the years. I’m certainly no expert and would never claim to be, but if I can help make even a small difference, I’ll feel as though I’ve achieved my goal.
Cross Dressing Clothing Advice
Cross dressing clothing is an important component of the transformation process and you need to get right. Let’s face it – no one wants to look like a man in a dress!
Now, it’s not rocket science. There are a few basic rules that you need to remember. Providing you stick to these, you’ll have no problem in passing as a woman.
I’m sure it comes as no surprise to you that men and women are built differently. Apart from the very obvious physical differences, men are likely to have larger hands and more body hair. In some outfits, the male genitalia may also be visible.
The important thing is to recognise which body parts you want to draw attention to and which ones you want to play down. There are clothing solutions for each and every body shape and you should use these to help look your best.
It’s quite common for cross dressers to have broad shoulders and big arms. Some have a boyish figure and others have a tummy. It’s no big deal. How many genetic women have you met that are totally happy with their figure? Not many, I’m sure. You just need to learn which clothes work best with your body shape.
If you want to draw attention to any particular area, wear stretchy, shiny or bright-coloured fabric. For example, if you have a great butt that you want to show off, try a leather skirt.
If, on the other hand, you want to draw attention away from an area, simply wear something less eye-catching. Dark, non-shiny fabrics are great for this.
If you’re a little on the heavy side, wear thicker fabrics as they don’t cling to you and have a shape of their own.
Some women’s clothes come with shoulder pads. If you already have broad shoulders, take these out. You should try to find clothes that are a little looser around the shoulders and a little tighter at the waist. Examples include deep ‘V’ neck tops and shaped tee-shirts. These can really help take the heaviness away.
Other tips include wearing darker tops than bottoms to give the appearance of being less top-heavy and using accessories such as necklaces and scarves to distract from the shoulders.
If you have a boyish figure, creating volume around your waist can help produce a curvy figure. This can be done by wearing pleated or full skirts which gather around the waist.
A large belt can also create the impression of voluptuous curves and are a great accessory to have to hand.
If your tummy is very noticeable, try to avoid straight up-and-down silhouette dresses and keep away from anything that clings too tightly to this area. It’s actually best to wear separates rather than a dress, as this allows you to wear tops that are longer than your skirt. Allow your top to hang down over the waistline of your skirt, making sure you don’t expose your waistline or tuck your top in. Belts are also best avoided if you have a tummy.
Finally, it’s important to wear colours that flatter your complexion. You will probably need to try on quite a few outfits before you’re able to gauge what looks good on you and what doesn’t. As a guideline, light skin colour and hair works well with blues and bright colours. Darker skin tones work better with browns, yellows and muted colours. But don’t hesitate to experiment – it’s half the fun.
The Male to Female Cross Dressing Transformation
The male to female transformation is key to the cross dressing experience.
Introducing one’s femme persona to the world represents a very exciting moment and brings a great deal of pleasure to cross dressers.
By crossing genders, a whole new world comes to life, offering a myriad of beautiful experiences to enjoy. For some, this cross dressing transformation forms a regular ritual. For others, it’s a once in a lifetime experience. Whatever the circumstances, it always brings great joy to the cross dresser.
The transformation itself can take some time to complete and involves a specific routine to get the look absolutely perfect. Here are a few guidelines to help you on your way.
Remove any Unwanted Hair
Start by carrying out a thorough pre-femme shave. This will help ensure you have a great base for your makeup. Take care to pluck out any stray hairs around your eyebrows and don’t forget to trim any ghastly nose and ear hair.
Depending on the outfit you plan to wear you may need to remove unwanted hair from your arms, legs and chest. And don’t forget the fingers and toes!
Ensure Skin is Clean and Adequately Moisturised
Dry skin looks awful and is not very feminine, so make sure that you moisturise your skin properly. Take special care around the knees, elbows, hands and feet. These areas are often overlooked.
Apply Makeup
Apply your makeup, starting with the foundation. It’s important to have a good base to smooth out the complexion before you start to work on the eyes and lips. Use concealer to hide any blemishes or spots and then apply some powder to hold it all in place. Next, move on to the eyes – starting with the eyeshadow and moving on to the eyeliner and mascara. Finish by applying lipliner and lipstick (or lipgloss, if you prefer).
The biggest tip I can give you is not to overdo it. You don’t have to cake yourself in makeup to look good. Most genetic women don’t, especially during the day when they’re working or carrying out daily chores. A natural look generally works best during the day. Keep the heavy makeup for a night out.
Believe it or not, this is one of the biggest giveaways to your gender. So, it’s important to get it right.
Put on Your Wig or Style Your Hair
For most crossdressers, this is a eureka moment as your femme persona comes to life. Take a minute to enjoy it.
Dress to Impress
Put on your chosen outfit, taking care to finish off the look with accessories. Jewellery, scarves, belts, shoes and bags can be used really effectively to transform a very basic outfit into something very special.
Now, you’re almost ready to go. Make sure your fingernails are clean and neatly trimmed. They don’t need to be perfectly manicured, just make sure they don’t look scruffy. Likewise, if you’re wearing sandals, make sure your feet look presentable. Of course, if you have the time, indulge in a manicure and pedicure for a drop-dead gorgeous look.
If you’re going out, remember to maintain your posture and think like a woman. Only then will you feel like one.
Congratulations! You’re ready to go, girl!
